Her eyes fluttered open instantly at the sound of the birds chirping outside, greeting the morning that was upon them, even though the sunrays were barely about to show. Her sudden awaken was in perfect timing with the venture of the sun; call it her inner clock, but she had always been a morning person and today was no exception.
Lazily, she rolled onto her back and rubbed her closed eyes, in hopes of brushing off the remaining of her sleep to finally prompt her wake. But as she regained consciousness, so did wake the images of the dream she’d experienced that night. A strange dream, but surprisingly not an unpleasant one. It was full of warmth, quiet breaths, synched heartbeats, and soft whispers of meaningful words…
She blinked awake, body lifting in a sitting position while her eyes widened in realization. Of all the things and all the people she could’ve dreamed with, it had to be with him.
Him bracing her in a protectively tight grip, so tight she could’ve sworn they would melt together in that instant. Him, running his fingers through her messy hair and delicately trailing over the lines of her features.
But most importantly, him, breathing on top of her earlobe, murmuring through soft, meaningful yet unbelievable concepts. Words she would never in her life expect coming from his refined lips, ever.
"You mean the world to me."
…Not even when she egoistically wished to heard them herself.
The space between them was negligible, practically non-existent. If she woke up, he’d get a pyre seal to the face for sure, but he took the risk to be this close to her, to watch her sleeping face. None of the usual defenses she consciously or unconsciously shielded her expressions with around him were in place, and he could see her as she was. Her face was peaceful and relaxed, and for one moment he wished she could trust him enough to lower her guard when she was awake. That was wistful thinking, and he’d only end up creating heartache for himself if he let ideas like that take root.
He reached out with a hesitant hand, wanting to brush her bangs off her face and see her more clearly, but in the end he let it drop. Touching her might wake her, and he was reluctant to let the quiet moment slip away. In the still, silent darkness he let himself have a moment of pretending that it was ok to be this close to her, that it was ok to have given her his heart. The daylight would wash away all traces of this moment, but just for now he wanted to give into to those wistful thoughts.
“You mean the world to me” he murmured softly, fingers twitching lightly as he imagined running them through her hair. He wanted to press a kiss to her forehead, to cradle her in his arms, but he wasn’t even supposed to be in this room, let alone lying on the bed with her. Only her surprisingly deep sleep had allowed the moment to last this long, and he would savor it as long as he could. “I wish I could pull you close and promise to protect you, but I know that I’m nothing but trouble for you.” He gave her sleeping form a wry, lopsided smile. “I’m nothing but trouble for anyone, hm?”
“Even if I know you’re asleep it’s hard to pluck up the courage to tell you what I think” he murmured after another long moment of silence. “But…I love you.” The words stuck in his throat, but when he finally managed them, it was as if a weight had been lifted and he repeated them. “I love you Sheena.” His gaze traced her features, lines his fingers longed to follow. “It’s been longer even than I might have thought, and even if I know it’s not ok, it’s still the truth.” He sighed, rolling onto his back and resting his head on his hands, looking up into the darkness.
“It’s pretty pointless to say anything now” he admitted. “But it’s nice to get it off my chest. I’ve been carrying those words around for years. I’d have carried them to the grave and never breathed a syllable to you.” His voice was still low, but perhaps not as low as it ought to be. He glanced over at her, silent for a moment to watch her steady, even breathing and assure himself she was still asleep. “Even now I’m not really admitting it, am I?” he murmured. He pressed a kiss to his finger tip and lightly pressed it against her lips, a feather-light touch before he rolled away and stood.
“Guess I’d better get back to my own bed…” He’d prefer to stay here with her, to fall asleep at her side tonight, and every night. That option wasn’t open for him, not tonight, or any night. “Good night Sheena” he whispered, blowing another kiss at the still form on the bed.
"I love you, Sheena."
A hand hovered involuntarily over her chest, arhythmical heartbeat she hadn’t noticed a change of pace on, beginning to accelerate even more after the bittersweet, virtual memories of the Chosen’s loving behavior. The lastly little kiss that had sealed his confessional speech, of years hiding his longing for that very moment, doing no better to her state. A longing she’d admittedly suffered as much, and for him too.
The heartbeats turned painful and into a heartache, though, at the reminder of reality.
"It was a dream—" She assured in a mumur, closing her eyes with a pained frown, hand clenching the fabric of her sleep robe, as if it would help any. "It was just a dream." Nothing that would possibly happen in reality, she repeated to herself. The thought of these kind of feelings, something more than anything else he’d felt for any other woman, coming from the man that had them all at his feet and mercy, was almost laughable. Almost, if it didn’t hurt so damn much for some strange reason.
As if she could possibly see herself curling on his arms, letting her guard down in such a way she wouldn’t do with anyone else. Wistful thinking, but irreal overall.
She slid to the edge of the bed, and promptly stood. No point on deliberating over a dream’s credibility or not, anymore. She would just brush it off and forget about it as soon as she stepped out of the room. Yeah, that was it.
Her fingers brushed softly over her own lips, though. Strangely enough, she sensed as if something had been placed there. A warm, fuzzy feeling went through her when her mind brought again the sensation of that brief kiss, touching her lips feather-like. But she shook her head and brushed it off again. No more yearning, she repeated like a mantra, even though she unconsciously still yearned for it.